A Friday Funny
Discover more from Margaret the Pug
Now that the first book is done, I need to start a second book, or I’ll go crazy. I just started using Pinterest, and I see a lot of bad wisdom there, the kinds of things my ninth grade class took as gospel back when I taught English at Hunter’s Lane. These quotes gave me an idea for a new book: a collection of reactions to common wisdom quotes and stories that illustrate their point.
The book would be structured like a book of daily meditations; each page starts with a popular quote, sourced from Pinterest or the like, and Margaret the Pug’s response to the quote. Sometimes Margaret agrees, and sometimes, like in the example below, she thinks the quote is ridiculous.
Here goes:
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” — Marcus Aurelius
“It’s a fact you’re dead, Marcus. And that’s the truth.” —Margaret the Pug
The Emperor Marcus Aurelius enters wearing his best toga. An adoring chorus of ninth graders gasps at his appearance.
“You look well, Emperor,” says his accountant, Margaret the Pug.
“In your opinion, Margaret,” says the emperor.
“Yes, yes!” echoes the chorus. “It depends! It depends! The truth always depends!”
The Emperor acknowledges the loving crowd with a wave. “And how are the accounts today?” he asks.
“Not well, Your Overratedness. The people come to us for bread, and we have little bread to give, since the rains stopped and the fields dried.”
“That’s just an opinion,” answers Marcus.
“The rain gauge, the storehouses, and the calendar say otherwise,” answers Margaret.
“Yes, yes!” echoes the chorus. “Who is counting the rain? And the bread? Why should we trust them? It depends! It depends! The truth always depends!”
“What is a calendar? Time is arbitrary. We choose the time and place for everything,” answers the Emperor.
“Perhaps emperors do, but not farmers,” says Margaret. “If we want a good harvest, we must adjust to nature.”
“Yes, yes!” echoes the chorus. “Time is relative! Age is just a number! It depends! It depends! The truth always depends!”
“Good harvest, bad harvest, it’s all perspective. Who is to say what’s good and bad? Let each man decide for himself,” answers the Emperor.
“Yes, yes,” echoes the chorus, “Good and bad, it’s all the same.”
“Unless you’re talking about french fries. Then the difference is great,” answers Margaret.
“Let them master their own desires!” says the emperor. “It is a manly thing to suffer in silence.”
Just then a mob breaks the doors, bursts into the throne room, and grabs the Emperor from his lounge. They put him in chains and drag him from power, and later the people install a different leader who recognizes that the need to eat and respond to the weather are facts, no matter your perspective.
And Margaret says, “Relativism is the start of a journey to wisdom, but it sure ain’t the destination.”
What do you think? Would 364 more things like this make a good book?